The Hurt of a Coward
by RenewedBlade
Summary: Sometimes, it is worse to reject than to be rejected. Drabblish Fic. OreiusXOC No Mary Sue! At least, I hope not.


Disclaimers: I do not own anything in Narnia… except Giselle? Well, you get my point.

* * *

It was only when a soft hand hesitantly touched his cheek that he was shaken from his reverie. Snapping, black eyes greeted his dark gaze as the hand withdrew. "Oreius." It was only a name, really. But he shuddered inwardly at the soft sweetness of the voice, and the tender innocence of the tone.

"My Lady," he answered, handsome, masculine features not betraying a hint of his inner turmoils. "It is late." He hoped that she would go, and leave him to his own troubling thoughts.

Giselle ignored his remark. "You are leaving us?"

Shutting his eyes briefly, he inclined his head. "Yes, my Lady. Aslan has sent me to scout at the borders."

"A Centaur to scout? Was there no other to volunteer? I am well aware of the swift silence of a Centaur when so he wishes - but it is not everyday one would see a Centaur as a scout. Let alone the General of Aslan's army." It was plain that Giselle did not understand.

Bowing his head slightly, his shoulders moved in an elegant, barely perceptible shrug. There was no doubt that Oreius was a soldier - one which very few could challenge. Yet there was a quiet, steady grace in every move he made, even when his stony features remained as they were. "It was Aslan's order that I leave in another hour or so. Is there something you would wish to speak to me of, my Lady?"

Giselle looked up into the silver depths of the Centaur. "You might stop calling me 'my Lady', for a change." When one dark brow quirked in response, she smiled ruefully, sobering. "Do you really not understand what I wish to say, Oreius?" She touched his cheek again, gently yet firmly forcing Oreius to look at her. "I love you."

For a moment she could feel the muscles under her hand hardening as his jaw set, and see the tensing of every muscle in his body as his eyes flashed darkly. There was no response, only a thinly veiled shock in his trained, stormy eyes. Then something flickered in his eyes, something very foreign to the Dryad before him - fear. A faint flicker of fear, but strong enough to show in his eyes, even if for an instant. He averted his face slightly as his head bowed. "You seek that which I cannot give you, my Lady."

"Why?"

"You have forgotten the fact that comes foremost, before anything and everything - I am Aslan's soldier, His General, my Lady."

"Is there a law for His soldiers that they cannot love, or bind themselves to anyone?"

"No." The answer came steadily. "Yet I am bound to duty, my Lady. I do not wish for anyone to worry for me while I am in battle, nor do I wish to burden her with my nightly - ordeals." It was an honest answer, one which revealed more of his private life than he had ever done.

"Your nightly ordeals, General? And what has given you the idea that if you do not return my love, I will not worry for you?" It was a veiled challenge, a dare - the proud tilt of her chin could say that much at least.

"I do not say that. I have never wanted anyone to love me, even if it was impossible," he countered, slight sarcasm in his voice as he voiced the last phrase. "I suppose that segregating myself from any females would solve this problem, yet that is improbable. And yes, the battlefield does have a rather - disturbing effect on its inhabitants especially at night. I have mostly gotten used to them, I shall confess. However, another person on my bed would have done a great thing, most impressive, to be able to sleep through the thrashing, silen -" He cut himself off abruptly. "My apologies, Your Grace. I had not wished to burden you with the gory details of the night."

"But I have already loved you, and it is done. Do you have another person on your mind, that you slight me with such little hesitance? You say that you do not want me to love you, and yet I already do. Do you wish for me to undo it? Would you care if I died -"

"Yes, my Lady, I would," Oreius cut in. "Peace, my Lady," he continued, a faint smile on his lips. "Your Grace asks far too much. I fear that I will not be able to satisfy your curiosity. And I am very flattered -"

"Flattered! Is that all you feel? Oreius -"

"Peace, Your Grace. I have to confess that I am flattered beyond reason for your feelings. And I am touched. I have no intention to slight you, my Lady. I would not even if I dared to. But you ask that which is impossible." He sighed almost inaudibly. "You desire that which I cannot give. Forgive me, my Lady."

Giselle closed her eyes softly. "Oreius, do you love me?"

There was an instant in which the Centaur's face expressed a raw pain and suffering. But Giselle's eyes opened, and all left was a cold, courteous warrior. "Forgive me, my Lady. You ask too much."

Overcome at last by shock and grief, Giselle turned and took off, disappearing among the pines, leaving a very stricken Centaur behind.

"General?"

Oreius looked down to see an elderly Faun at his side. "Yes, Master Faun?"

The Faun smiled sympathetically. "You do love her, do you not, General Oreius?"

Oreius returned a smile - but it was a bitter, self-berating smile. "You see hearts in their truth, Master Faun, and yet you do not understand my predicament?"

"Perhaps if not completely, partially. You do not want to burden her, nor do you want to betray Aslan by putting her whom He views as His child in a state of suffering. Yet you only cause more wounds to her heart by rejecting her, my friend. I do perhaps but understand a little, but that much I know. The child's heart is true, and she will not forget you. It is not a mere infatuation to pass."

"I know. But you only see the noble, honourable side of me, Master Faun. I am selfish, cowardly - much more than any of you suspect. Aslan knows, of course. I have loved, Master Faun, and I am not completely unaware of the flipsides of it. To be vulnerable, to be in a position of vulnerability, where your lover but raises a hand and can crush your heart into a thousand of smithereens - I am unable to bear that. You are right in many things, friend, but you overestimate my virtue. I am not worthy of Giselle, and can only hope she finds another to turn in love."

"Love makes one vulnerable, but having not been in love - is that not worse? You are a worthy soldier, but as a lover, General, you have still much to learn."

"In romantic love, I agree with you, Master Faun. But I have no intention to learn more in that. Many things matter to me, yet few of these are known. But one thing you will know, Master Faun. I will suffer more keenly than Giselle does, because hers is the hurt of unrequited love, which can be soothed by friends and other attentions. Yet mine is the hurt of being a coward. And I suffer all the more keenly because I have no wish to change that fact. Now that I am consoled by that fact, you should be able to find Giselle at the thirty-seventh pine from the front and the left. It is safe for her in the night, but she should not linger there for too long. The night air is chill especially at that place. She must not catch a cold." Inclining his head in thanks to the Faun, he lifted his head and galloped off to the distance.

* * *

**A/N:** This is my very first fanfiction, so please, please, please be nice and review! :D Of course, this is just a drabblish fic, and I won't be doing continuations of it, most likely. Oh, and I know that this isn't a very… normal pairing, thus it's just an idea… By the way, one reviewer reviewed that Giselle was keening towards the MarySue side (with other compliments that I probably didn't deserve). I just wanted to say that I honestly don't really like Giselle, so if she is a little MarySue-ish, it is partially, at least, because I don't like her. That's all. :D Please do review! (Thanks for all those lovely, lovely reviews!)

--R.B.


End file.
